Dear Max,

You have no idea what is going to happen to you tomorrow. I have no idea how to break it to you. It may take you a few days to figure out and possibly longer to understand. But, please do not think we are cruel because we are doing this to you. Daddy and I love you very much and hope you understand why we have to change things.

We loved having you as our little boy. Our only little boy. We took many many pictures and wrote about you and video taped you. We cherished every moment. You will always be our first big boy.

Again, please don't be angry with us. We put a lot of thought into this and Daddy and I both feel this will be a good decision on your behalf. It may not feel like it for many years, but one day you will understand.

Tonight, you go to sleep as an only child. Tomorrow........ you become........ a..... BIG BROTHER!

I'm going to go watch you sleep now. And when you start screaming at 3am to come into our bed, I will squeeze and cuddle you tighter.

We love you,

Mommy and Daddy

P.S. I don't know what happened to your forehead. This picture was the first I saw of it this evening. This happens to you a lot.

P.P.S. That thing on your upper arm is a tattoo. Daddy put it there. It's a mean, tough skull with guns. The other arm has sparkles that says "Hottie"...we're trying to keep you balanced.

P.P.S.S. And say good-bye to your crib (soon).

Water Park

We learned recently that Vacaville has a great water park!!! We only made it twice this year but it was worth it. Two big pools, two water slides (for the big kids and adults) and a perfect tot area. There are lifeguards all around (and are REALLY on top it it) monitoring all activity. They aren't afraid to pull kids out that are breaking the rules.

The tot area is perfect for Max. The deepest area is a foot deep and there is a play structure with fountains and a little water slides too. I think you have to be under 3 1/2 feet tall to play in this area. So it's nice that the little guys get their space to play too. Max really likes it...unless it's too "Cohd" (Cold).

Looking forward to next year!

Busy Weekend

We had a busy weekend last weekend filled with house guests and a family wedding. All fun stuff!

Friday night Erik's sister, Nicole, and her two kids arrived to hang out for a little while before they were off to the rehearsal dinner. Unfortunately, Brian (Nicole's husband) couldn't make it last minute due to a mountain biking accident. We missed you Brian! Get well soon!

Max LOVED having his cousins here. It was like instant playmates all weekend long.

Here is Max copying Vivian and Ethan while coloring. He really likes to do what the older kids do, even if he is still too small to understand. They all made pretty pictures for our house! Max saw Vivian coloring on the magnetic board so he had to find the mini board. He plopped himself right next to her and started drawing, just like her.
Saturday was the wedding of Erik's cousin, Rebekka. Gail arrived that afternoon and I'm pretty sure she was in heaven with all of her gandkids in once place!

Vivian was the flower girl and it was fun to watch her get ready. She practiced her walk down our hallway over and over again. Her hair was done so nicely with curls bouncing. She looked like a little princess in the dress her Mom made for her.

Everything was going smoothly before the wedding and I was able to meet Erik's Uncle Joe (Gail's brother and the father of the bride). It was so nice to finally meet more of Erik's family. They are so kind and always remember Max. The camera wasn't working that well for the ceremony (or reception) so here are the best of the blurry and dark photos.

Again, before the wedding, Max was great. He was being cute and he was entertained. That lasted about halfway through so we missed some of the ceremony. Rebekka was an absolute STUNNING bride. She truly was glowing throughout her day. Tom is a really lucky guy!




I couldn't capture Vivian walking down the aisle but here she is sitting in front of us after her "job" was done. She did great!

This was taken at the reception of the sweet bride and groom. They live just minutes away from us (in Davis) so we hope to see them soon. They planned a perfect wedding and we all had such a great time!

Here is Gail and her brother, Uncle Joe. I really love this picture of them.

During the dancing portion of the reception, Uncle Joe dedicated a song to his wife, Aunt Susie, and invited all married couples to the dancefloor. Max and Ethan had just fallen asleep and cuddled up with Grandma Gail. So Erik and I hit the floor. It was a sweet song and we really enjoyed watching Uncle Joe and Aunt Susie dance together.

After a few minutes Erik and I decided that I could possibly dance the baby out. Our attempt failed, but it sure gave us a good time. The kids all had fun dancing and I think Vivian outlasted all the adults!

Thank-you all for such a fun evening!

Meal-meal

I thought I'd try a little video of Max this morning while he was eating breakfast. He talked about the "Meal-meal" (oatmeal) that daddy was making the whole time it was cooking. He was eating it up until I got out the camera. (Also notice the "eeeeese" is him saying cheese, which he does every time he see's a camera. "Moon" is spoon and "Nana" is banana. I'm slowly catching onto his lingo). I haven't had much luck with posting videos, but it looks as if this one worked. Enjoy!

All lined up!

Max's favorite thing to do lately is line up his toys. Cars are always in lines, front to back or side to side. He gets really proud of himself when he does this too. In the picture below it was water bottles. I'm trying to post a video of his little fit when one water bottle wouldn't stay in place, but it doesn't seem to be working. So the latest with the pregnancy...ahhhh.....11 days left!



I had all of my appointments this week and they all went well. The kiddo is still moving all around, and the head is back down again. They did a estimation of the weight. At 37 weeks, 2 days they said it's about 8 lbs 9 oz. Their reaction, "Wow, it's probably going to be a big baby!" My reaction," Eh, that's nothin'!"



I lost another 2 lbs so now I've gained a total of 7 lbs. I'm not complaining, I need to lose weight. Do I think this is the best time to lose it? Not really. But my doc isn't concerned. I'm losing from other parts of my body, not the baby's. Only one more week of appointments and then it's delivery week! Yahoo!

-Update

-All things have been smoothed out. Luckily I was feeling a little sassy when I met with my Dr. today. He fed off it and gave it back to me.

-I'll be having 2 non-stress tests a week now, one will include an ultrasound to measure fluid and fetal weight. And I will continue to see my OB once a week. Jeesh. Luckily I coordinate two visits so I will only have to drive to Walnut Creek twice a week. Blah.

-The fluid levels are looking good, baby is now breech.

-Couldn't see much in the ultrasound today.

-I lost another 3 lbs. Not to worry, I have plenty to spare. My OB said I'm looking like a "regular pregnant woman should at this point". As opposed to the whale I was with Max.

-S/he is still kicking the daylights out of my stomach. The techs couldn't believe it again. In fact, it almost kicked one of the monitors off my stomach today. I swear s/he will break its own water just from kicking and punching.

-Start insulin tonight, finally. The pharmacy really screwed that one up.

I think that's it. Until next week.

Another day.

We met with the Good Witch today. I'm so glad they had another one in hiding. Finally. What a HUGE difference. She explained everything to us like we were adults. All the pros and con's of insulin. All the risks. She was very kind and even smiled! Wow! She was encouraging and positive and she understood why I would doubt injecting something into my body. She was excellent! Erik and I both left feeling very good about this situation. What a relief. I'm glad we waited another day.

Insulin starts tomorrow though. There have been some pharmacy issues. Eh, what's another day.

My doctor has called me twice. I haven't returned his calls though. He can sit on it for a bit. He's now concerned that I was too upset and wants to know how I'm feeling. Eh...he can wait another day.

Max's updates

Here's another "Grandma" post. Just some new ones with Max. We got to hang out in Napa the other day to "babysit" Riley and Payten. The day flew by and Max had SO MUCH FUN with them. Riley is just 2 months younger than Max so they are little buddies together. Payten is a little diva.

I commented about Max looking out the window at our old house. He found a new lookout point. He jumps as fast as he can when he hears any truck or loud car (garbage truck). He loves watching the world through the window.

Flashlights. All of our flashlights are running out of batteries because this little guy is obsessed. It will entertain him for a while. I can't say 'a long time' because nothing entertains him for a long time. But he always goes back to it.

We got him a little table at Ikea and he loves it. Well, he loves the chairs. He loves pushing them around the house and climbing on and off them. We set up his paper and crayon set, which he likes. Thank goodness for baby wipes. So far they have cleaned crayon off the walls, couch, toys, floors and shower doors. We're learning patience and he's (not) learning what he can and can't do. Who's the boss around here?

He learned the letter "M". Sort of. Every letter or word is the letter M. He loves to sing and hum to himself and all of a sudden started talking. He says bye, please, hi, hi dad, hi mom, no, book, water, milk, most family names and most things he can repeat back to us. Not all of them are clear but we can make out what they mean and it makes it easier to "talk" with him.

He's been a little grouchy lately (reflecting off mommy, I suppose) and we are still working with him sleeping through the night. He's only slept three complete nights since we moved. I hope he adjusts soon.

Other than that he is doing great and we are so lucky to have such a cute and funny little boy!

Newer Ultrasound pictures.

I'm taking a break from the negativity. Don't worry, it will be back. I have to meet with the witches tomorrow. I did get a call from my doctor today to check in on me. I'm not calling him back. He's not my priority right now. This is:


Here are the fat fingers she was talking about. I really like the doctor that did this ultrasound. She did the 20 week with Max and she is still just as spunky and happy. She was so excited to see the fingers and oooh'd and awww'd when she told me the top picture was the baby waving at Mama.

The hair. She explained all the white/gray stuff is some serious hair floating around in the fluid. The baby is looking away from the camera so its part of the back of his/her head.

I may get more on Wednesday when they check the fetal weight. I'm curious about that. I'll update more then too.

Update and vent

Alright, here we go again.

I had the stress test yesterday. All went well. I was able to sit in a quiet room, alone, for a half hour. It was cool and I had the remote. I go back once a week until the baby comes. I was hooked up to two monitors and given the "beeper". The beeper is what I push every time I felt the baby move. Well, the baby never stopped moving. Seriously. When they came in to check on me I told them I was doing the best I can and trying not to "beep" over and over again. When she came in to unhook me, they tried to tell me the baby had the hiccups. I then told her to watch my belly. She then told her co-worker to come in and watch my amazing belly. I won. Not the hiccups.

So we went to the ultrasound room, which I didn't know I was having, and will be having at each appointment now. They need to measure the fluid level (was normal yesterday) and starting next week the baby's size as well. How dare I deliver another 12+ lb baby!

I was told the baby had fat fingers and A TON OF HAIR! They sent me home with pictures of each and yes, both are cute. They said if it's a girl to be prepared to bring a hair tie. Aw.

Then I went to my second diabetes class where all my good news was crumbled up into a ball and spit at me by angry, powerful and degrading women. (I'm not making that up either. Erik had to talk to them today, for me, and he agreed there is a certain "tone" used). They want me to start insulin. Just once a day.

I honestly thought I was doing well. My blood sugars weren't too out of whack (within 10 points of what they want, sometimes just 1 or 2 over, sometimes perfectly normal). So I was really proud that I was changing my eating habits and routine. Then I was slapped with insulin. So I shut off. Got my instructions and left and waited until today to call my Dr's to see what he thought.

He agreed with the devil ladies and told me "you got so lucky that your first child is healthy because he was so big" and "you are being ridiculous" and "why are you so emotional over this" and "you are endangering your child. IT'S ABOUT THE HEALTH OF YOUR BABY!!"

I won't go further because the conversation lasted about 15 minutes and by the time we hung up I was crying so hard I couldn't even say bye. Then I threw up for 10 minutes. He's off to Seattle this weekend. I'm off to pray that my water breaks and I don't have to see his stupid face again.

Erik had to make the next call for me to the wicked witches. I couldn't really talk for about an hour. I was insulted as a Mom. I was shocked to get the results I got. I'm concerned the risks are higher for the baby with insulin rather than adding exercise. Seems a little extreme as the next step -for just one week of testing blood sugars. I felt like no one wanted to listen to that part, they just want to follow a textbook.

I can respect that. If that is what I need to do, I'll do it. I understand that part of it and I absolutely do not want to harm this child. Well, that is what I'm doing. Starting next week. I'm not happy about it. I'm asking Erik to come the the class and all of my appointments with me in case I turn into a blubbering fool again. (Who wants to babysit?)

I am an emotional pregnant woman. And I just got a lot off my chest.